Dear Anais,
I’m a cis, straight white woman dating the man of my dreams. He’s liberal, progressive, handsome, young, he’s got a career and his shit in order, he is not afraid to call himself a feminist, he’s emotionally available and prioritizes me through his actions, and to top it all off at my place he puts the toilet seat back down after he pees.
I know you’re ready to throw this correspondence out as a humble brag or not so gently remind me that there are people with real problems in this world, but hear me out: he will call himself feminist, but when he says or does things that are micro-aggressive or sexist, I can’t get him to own up to it–he’ll argue it’s my wrong interpretation of a scenario because, after all babe, he’s a feminist.