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GO ASK ANAIS: 30 is the Loneliest Number. Do Post-20s Female Friendships Exist?

Go Ask Anais

Dear Anais,

I’m writing to you because I’m a 30-year-old woman and I’m alone. I’m not in a relationship right now and haven’t been for a year and there’s nothing really on the horizon. This doesn’t bother me so much—of course I’d like to find love but my relationship with my ex was such an exhausting experience that I’m actually glad for the time off at this point. My problem is that I used to have friends, good ones. And now suddenly, they are all in relationships and I’m the single one. Even my two roommates are always over at their significant others’ apartments or closed off in their rooms here.

I’m lonely. I’m bored. Last week I finally synched up with one of my friends and we went to dinner and she was constantly checking her phone and stayed for one drink afterward and then said she was going to meet up with her boyfriend who was home from work. I’m so tired of being dropped.

Now that we are older, does friendship even exist anymore? The person who used to be my closest friend always talks about her boyfriend being her best friend. I get it—if you have a built-in companion you do everything with, who has use for friends? I’m not trying to sound bitter—I’m really trying to understand whether my expectations of having strong female friendships are realistic at this point.

Thanks in advance,
The Only Lonely

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