The Emotional Stages of Realizing The Phantom of the Opera Actually Sucks

Are you trying to control me with your sexy hand?

I used to be one of those ideological pseudo-purists that only engaged with media that jived with my politics—a totally sustainable way of life if you want to think about !!Important Issues!! 24/7. Don’t get me wrong: I’m still all about Racebending and #WeNeedDiverseBooks, but American popular culture sure doesn’t make the struggle easy. Before I started working full-time, I had the mental fortitude to read plot summaries and cast lists to seek out media that passed the Bechdel Test at the very least, but the pacifying ease of shitty media slowly brought me over to the Dark Bland Side. I had so few fucks to spare after standing in a 120˚F kitchen for 10 hours, and that’s how I ended up watching The Phantom of the Opera productions every night for three months.

Of course I rationalized it, passionately defended it to friends, and parroted a line found in every think piece: “But it’s actually really smart!” I’m standing in the cold, unfeeling light of Acceptance now, but it’s been a struggle. Here’s how it went down: Continue reading

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Rah! Rah! Roundup

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Read why the Women’s World Cup was “nothing short of remarkable.” Meanwhile, this sports fan reminds us that “girls just wanna have fundamental human rights.” If you’re not sure why women’s soccer is a feminist issue, head over here.

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OMFG: This Girl-Version of “Howl” by Amy Newman

Via the Poetry Foundation website:

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by wedding 
planners,
  dieting, in shapewear,
dragging themselves in cute outfits through the freezer section for the
  semifreddo bender,
blessed innovative cloister girl pin-ups burning to know the rabbi of
  electricity in poverty, obedience, in the dream stick of opium and the
  green Wi-Fi fuse,”

Read the whole poem here and in the latest issue of Poetry magazine.

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The Summer of Side Pubes: A Comic

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From The Conditions of Our Togetherness, a serialized book-in-progress appearing monthly, here on Weird Sister.

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Not Just Words on a To-Do List : An Interview with Cyn Vargas

The stories in On the Way, the new collection from Chicago author Cyn Vargas, come from a place of pain. Broken marriages, broken homes, lost mothers and distant fathers swirl in and out of the stories, told through a variety of narrators (though most often, those narrators are girls between the ages of nine and thirteen). Throughout the pain and failed relationships, Vargas creates a picture of something deeper than love: a loyalty, a responsibility, and a connection that outlasts the fun times.

I talked to Vargas about the stigmas of writing fiction close to your own story, the draw of a pre-teen perspective, and how often, love isn’t everything.

Author Cyn Vargas

Author Cyn Vargas

Kati Heng: I’m curious about your connection to Guatemala. You mention it in a number of stories, set some there. Have you been? Do you have family there?

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The Top Ten Reasons I Haven’t Lost the Baby Weight

lose baby weight

Did you know that postpartum mothers who lose all their baby weight are actually able to fucking FLY?

10) Genetics. Or whatever, not genetics, but like, some complex cocktail of genetics and Lamarckian evolution, like how my mom was a giraffe with a short neck but she realized that if she just stretched her short neck she could reach a tall tree.

lamarck_giraffesAnd then I was born being able to reach a tall tree, if by “reach a tall tree” you mean “maintain my lustrous dappled Irish skin and delicious baby-feeding boobs on 300 potato-famine calories a day.”

thp-boy-girl

These are my great-great-grandparents, and they didn’t find a potato, but they found a boat I think. And there were Fritos on the boat, apparently.

Or, like, womb environment: This Important Scientist Hypothesizes that too many generations of American women devoured too much subsidized corn or whatever and got dishwashers and at first it made us The Fittest Americans In History (whoa can we talk about what “fit” means, hi Nazis) but now we are just a bunch of fat slobs who deserve to be killed when our huge fat babies tear us apart during labor, but you know, there are c-sections, so even though We Should Have All Died we all got to live to make America fat. No hope for me. No hope for Baby Jane. Maybe some hope for, like, my next baby’s grandchild, if I do enough fucking preggo Pilates.

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The Bachelorette Is Changing the Rules to Accommodate Kaitlyn’s Sluttiness and I Love It

I realized something this past week: The Bachelorette is my favorite show. I can’t say why, and I don’t know that I’ll always feel this way, but like drunkenly pulling smarmy, ugly leather jacket-clad Nick into your Ireland hotel room in a feverish passion, the heart wants what the heart wants. And this week, I’ve just wanted The Bachelorette.

As a show, The Bachelor is a really straightforward narrative of patriarchy: there’s a single boring white dude, and 30 women with blonde highlights and unthreatening careers fighting over him. The Bachelorette, however, is more of a mind-fuck. It more or less always brings us the same tired cliches about hetero romance and gender, the same negative stereotypes and narrow views of womanhood as its brother program, but it’s all wrapped up in a kind of faux female empowerment—a crowd of HOT TOPLESS GUYS with SIX-PACKS, OMG, fawning over one lucky single gal in a glorious triumph for feminism and equal opportunity. This is our turn, ladiesssss!

Sluttiness montage via Inquisitr.com

For a brief moment on this past week’s episode though, it felt like it kind of was. There was indeed a tiny glimmer of feminism, in which the show decided to cater to Kaitlyn’s sluttiness. To be perfectly clear, by saying sluttiness I of course am joking about the double standards that the show and our horrid patriarchal culture perpetuate around female sexuality; by Kaitlyn’s sluttiness I do of course mean her Totally Healthy Female Sexuality. The show saw that Kaitlyn was being unapologetically sexual, and they did some helpful rearranging to cater to it. Continue reading

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NYC Book Launch: Things I’d Let You Do to Me

A bunch of us weird sisters are launching Geri Kim’s new chapbook THINGS I’D LET YOU DO TO ME (Recreation League) tonight in NYC! Come out for readings + killer jams! Continue reading

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Rah! Rah! Roundup

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Bobby Seale and D’Angelo on how “It’s the same fight”:

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We’re Obsessed With: Ambivalently Yours

Oh to be a teen in the age of Tumblr. Pretty-on-pink drawings by anonymous artist Ambivalently Yours thoroughly soothe and vindicate my inner teenage girl with reminders that it’s more than okay to be sensitive, emotional, complicated, and unabashedly “girly.” Ambivalently says, “I want my art to be about all of us boldly undecided girls.” Here are a few of my favorites:

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