Tag Archives: Michele Bachmann

It’s True: Republican Bae Michele Bachmann Came To My Gay Wedding and This Is What Happened


Lady Liberty and Sarah Palin are lit by the same torch —Michele Bachmann

And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it —Michele Bachmann

Before we get started, let’s all say ‘Happy Birthday’ to Elvis Presley today —Michele Bachmann

The rumors are true. Pero por fa, do not unfriend me yet. Do you know how hard it is to accept this in public after I ranted on Facebook about the idiocy of the gay movement’s focus on marriage? Am I throwing myself over the gay cliff right now? Maybe. Pero reinita, hear me out: Republicans are stubborn people! And I didn’t even see it coming. It was all so quick. Bam bam bam and before you could say ay juepuchica Michele Bachmann is sitting next to my mother picking some pork residue from her teeth, bonding with her over the apocalypse. How was I supposed to say “no” to the hottest bae over 50 in the Midwest? I have a soft spot for right-wing women, tu sabe. Also I don’t think we’ve given Michele proper credit on her party abilities, she’s raised like 30 foster kids plus Marcus in one house (we don’t know the exact number because she won’t fill the census!), she’s held so many racists/homophobic fundraisers we can’t even keep count (talk about a white Christian party monster, am I right?)! AND, girlfriend really wanted to blow up our party balloons (she’s so good!). Plus, she will tell me later, I heard immigrants are really good at the macarena. Dios mío. We are! All of us. Continue reading

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