My mother was rolled over to me in a hospital gown with new corneas and loose lips. “When are you and AJ going to get married? It’s legal now—isn’t it?” I quickly web searched to confirm that. I had stopped caring about all that after the last elections. She sighed, “That’d be cute.” Then, “It’s like I’m in a rainbow tunnel. So many colors, like I’m at Disneyland.”
•••••
I hadn’t considered marriage before 2008. Bigotry and casual homophobia were out of the closet in the ongoing debates over California Proposition 8, and the gay community reacted in the sharpest and most active defense formation I had seen. We were in the streets, gay and proud and loud, explaining: no, yes does not support gay marriage, no does. And in the aftermath, I huddled with activists around a stage and a TV interview with George Takei to learn what we already knew. My mother told me, “Just give it time.”
In the months following, the community that had gathered didn’t have a proposition to oppose. I joined a couple lackluster, vanilla activists groups before deciding to give myself some time to consider marriage for myself. Continue reading
