Author Archives: Caolan Madden

The Gender Politics of Kristy and Mr. Mom: What We Currently Know

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OBJECTIVE: To obtain enough knowledge about the gender politics of the 1995 novel Kristy and Mr. Mom to eliminate major critical lacunae in the fields of a) feminist theory; b) queer theory; c) sociology; d) Baby-Sitters Club studies; e) Michael Keaton studies; f) Mr. Mom studies. This study is particularly timely because of the current prominence of the Oscar-nominated film Birdman, which stars Michael Keaton as a disgruntled actor who can’t live down his success in the 1983 film Mr. Mom.

PROCEDURE: I will review the facts now available to scholars of Mr. Mom studies, and articulate a series of questions and conceptual problems provoked by those facts. I will then attempt to retrieve my copy of Kristy and Mr. Mom, which I may have left in a coffee shop, and use it to answer these questions. If further funding is available, I will procure and screen a copy of the 1983 Michael Keaton film Mr. Mom.

REVIEW OF LITERATURE (WHAT WE CURRENTLY KNOW):

1. Kristy and Mr. Mom was book #81 in Ann M. Martin’s popular Baby-Sitters Club series, published in 1995 by Scholastic Books. Although Martin is listed as the author, the book was ghostwritten by Jahnna Beecham and Malcolm Hillgartner. Continue reading

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But She Really Was: Gone Girl and the False Accusation

When I was reading Gillian Flynn’s novel Gone Girl—sometime in early October, right before the movie came out—there was this one plot twist I was scared of reading, and as I got further and further into the book I got more and more scared. It’s kind of the main plot twist, and I’d read spoilers, but that was before I had any interest in reading Gone Girl, so my understanding of how it was going to work was hazy. “This is fun so far, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to handle it when that happens,” I worried early on. “Oh my God,” I thought to myself, about a third of the way through, “that’s who NPH plays, oh no.” Then I got to a point where I was like, “Wait, maybe this will be okay. Maybe I can bring myself to read it if this is what happens.” And then I was like, “Oh, wow, that’s how it’s going to happen.I was glad it was going to happen. I was like, “Hooray for Amy Dunne! What a brilliant and accomplished young woman.”

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I hope I grow up to be this alert and well-coiffed!

I describe this process not to demonstrate how I developed Stockholm syndrome from drinking in too much of the brilliant prose of Gone Girl, like how you read Lolita and you’re like, “Ooh, I hope Humbert Humbert gets to make out with Lolita,” at least you are until he says something like, “You see, she had absolutely nowhere else to go.” I’m describing how my feelings about this plot twist shifted because that was how I realized that everyone had lied about it.

Well, they misrepresented it.

HERE IS WHERE I AM GOING TO SPOIL GONE GIRL: Continue reading

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ALL THE FEMINIST BOOKS: The Mists of Avalon and The Handmaid’s Tale

We asked our regular contributors to write about the feminist books that they love—books that struck a chord, for one reason or another, books they couldn’t put down, that they’ll never donate, that are underlined and dog-eared and bookmarked eternally, that you can maybe borrow, but you most definitely have to give back. Here’s Caolan on Marion Zimmer Bradley’s The Mists of Avalon and Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale:

I last read these books on my Kindle, which promptly broke; here I am with the broken title page of the Ballantine e-book of The Mists of Avalon.

I last read these books on my Kindle, which promptly broke; here I am with the broken title page of the Ballantine e-book of The Mists of Avalon.

I wanted to talk about these two books together because, for me, they’re two sides of the same coin. Marion Zimmer Bradley‘s The Mists of Avalon (1983) is a feminist revision of the King Arthur mythos, but also a reconstruction of a dreamed-of matriarchal prehistory; Margaret Atwood‘s The Handmaid’s Tale (1985) is a feminist dystopian nightmare. In one novel, a society of priestess-revering, Goddess-fearing, woman-respecting Picts and Celts—everybody smeared in woad, wreathed in holly, rising with the sun and running with the deer—is slowly but inevitably crushed by the cold patriarchal grip of early Christianity, with its tyrannical, sex-negative priests making sure that every woman is the property of a man, and/or an illiterate virgin. In the other, a society of somewhat troubled but reasonably happy white North American 70s feminists—a lot of hairy armpits, conflicting attitudes about sex work, militant second-wave moms with casual, complacent daughters—is suddenly and terrifyingly crushed by the cold patriarchal grip of televangelist-style fundamentalist Christianity, as a military coup restructures the US as a theocracy, sends infertile women and feminist rabble-rousers and various other traitors to their deaths in radioactive work camps, and redistributes fertile nonbelievers as property—”handmaids”—to creepy powerful old couples, with whom they are expected to conceive and bear children in creepy sex rituals that physically involve the creepy old husbands and vicariously involve the creepy old wives. Both scenarios were projections—forward or backward—from the real world of the early 1980s, from actual evidence: The Mists of Avalon is a theological-historical-anthropological back-formation, a brilliantly orchestrated reconciliation of 20th-century Wiccan rituals and speculations about the historical Arthur and pseudoarchaeology about actual ruins on the British isles and conflicting medieval French texts and folktales, while the horrors of The Handmaid’s Tale are rooted in contemporary struggles over reproductive justice and women’s rights and the rhetoric of the newly powerful religious right in the US, not to mention the swiftness with which women’s lives were changing in Iran under the Ayatollah, or rather the swiftness with which so many regimes (including our own!) associated nationalism or political stability with women’s subordination. Continue reading

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Teaching Ferguson and Failing

I didn’t do a good job teaching my poetry students about Ferguson.

I know a lot of people are doing a good job. You should listen to them and follow their example. But I’m going to tell you about how I did a mediocre job, because I think (I’m not sure) that it’s better to do a mediocre job than not to address it at all; because I think we should be talking about what we tried to do, even if we didn’t do it right.

Last Monday night, the night the grand jury’s verdict was announced, I realized I was teaching the next afternoon:  an introductory undergrad course on reading and writing about poetry. I posted on Facebook that I was looking for poems and/or lesson plans that might help me and my students talk about what was happening in Ferguson, and my friends had great ideas. They posted links to the Atlantic’s version of the Ferguson Syllabus; Jennée Desmond-Harris’s list of Do’s and Don’ts for teaching about Ferguson; the NAACP petition urging the Department of Justice to complete its investigation of Michael Brown’s shooting; qz.com’s advice for white antiracist allies. They posted poems by Claude McKay, Amiri Baraka, Gwendolyn Brooks, Audre Lorde, and Danez Smith (see a full list of poems at the bottom of this post.) Continue reading

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EAT MEN LIKE AIR: Feminist Literary Halloween Costumes (Part 3)

(Part 1 and Part 2 of this series appeared last week.)

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Yikes, you guys! Halloween is almost here! Do you have a costume yet? Never fear—if your sexy bunch of grapes costume got lost in the mail, here are 10 last-minute feminist costume ideas that you can put together in less than an hour, using materials from around the house (or maybe the drugstore.)

But first: a quick refresher course in feminist Halloween etiquette.

FEMINIST HALLOWEEN DOs AND DON’Ts

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DO freak out the patriarchy.  When you’re trying to figure out an “edgy” Halloween costume, a good trick is to ask yourself “WHOM might this costume make uncomfortable?” If the answer is “white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy,” YES, GO AHEAD with your bloody tampon Halloween costume. If the answer is “my mom,” that’s a personal family decision you’ll need to make on your own. If the answer is “PC social-justice warriors,” hang up that war bonnet, my darling girl, and figure something else out.

DON’T alter your appearance, especially your skin or your hair, to make it look like you have a different race or ethnic background. This includes wigs, hair color, makeup, and masks.

DON’T appropriate the sacred regalia or symbols of a religion that isn’t your own. I think it’s totally within Madonna’s rights to gleefully blaspheme the Catholic Church in which she was raised. I think it would be weird for her to do that with another religion.

DO consider your own identity affiliations and privilege when choosing a costume. The same costume might be edgy and transgressive on one person and creepy or downright inappropriate on another.

DON’T make light of the death or suffering of real people; this includes references to genocide, slavery, and other institutional raced or gendered violence.

DO draw bloody tears down your face with lipliner whenever possible.

And now: on to the costumes! Continue reading

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EAT MEN LIKE AIR: Feminist Literary Halloween Costumes (Part 2)

Following Thursday’s post featuring old-timey literary women, here are ideas for costumes inspired by more recent feminist literature and art—including ideas for group costumes!

JANIE CRAWFORD
From Zora Neale Hurston’s 1937 novel Their Eyes Were Watching God.

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You’ll need: Delicate white flowers from the florist or corner deli, preferably on branches (you want them to look as much like pear blossoms as possible, but, uh, it’s October); a plastic bee; plastic toothed headband (clear or matching your skin or hair); choker necklace; comfortable denim overalls; thread or string; glue; optional hair extensions, if your hair is short.
(Note: This costume incorporates elements from the beginning and the ending of the novel, so if you’re a purist you might want to pick just one scene and recreate it.)

Prep Intensity: Medium. It will be pretty tricky to get the flowers in the right position, but once you’ve done that, the rest of the costume is pretty easy. Continue reading

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THIS YEAR, EAT MEN LIKE AIR: Your 2014 Guide to DIY Literary Feminist Halloween Costumes (Part 1)

Everybody knows that women shouldn’t just be a Sexy _____ for Halloween. Instead, you should be something empowering, like a cool empress or goddess or inventor from Take Back Halloween. Even if you feel amazing dressed up as a Slutty Bunch of Grapes (oh wait I picked that as a joke but it is a thing:

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BUT the girl in this photo is totally doing the costume wrong. Here are two ways to do Slutty Bunch of Grapes: you’re totally naked except for like seven purple balloons taped to your body, and your chosen Halloween lover gets to watch you pop them one by one as you do the Dance of the Seven Slutty Grapes, OR you’re totally naked except for SEVERAL HUNDRED real grapes glued to your body with some kind of special food-safe glue and your lover gets to eat them all off one by one and then zhe is TOO FULL to eat any of hir candy and YOU GET TO EAT IT ALL oh wait I was supposed to be telling you NOT to be a slutty bunch of grapes!) ANYWAY, even if you got a great idea for a Slutty Bunch of Grapes costume + sex game from the Internet, you shouldn’t be a Slutty Bunch of Grapes because of what Mean Girls taught us. You remember! “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”

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So because Halloween is this weird carnival time of misrule, women and girls are encouraged, even required, to wear provocative outfits for which they would be mercilessly slut-shamed at any other time of year. And because Cady didn’t get the Girl World memo, she shows up in an amazing, totally transformative Zombie Bride costume and feels really uncomfortable and the boy she likes makes out with Regina George the Playboy Bunny.

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Continue reading

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